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Week 6 - thoughts of quitting

1/4/16 - 1/10/16

Swim - 2
Bike - 0
Run - 2
Strength Training - 0
Weight to lose - 22 lbs
Mileage (weekly / 2016)
  Swim - 3600 yds / 3600 yds miles  
  Bike - 0 miles / 0 miles
  Run -8.21 miles / 8.21 miles

 I don't have to clock in at work but this week I tracked my work hours and I worked roughly 68 hours. Today is the only day I have not worked.....yet (my on call coverage doesn't end till 5). I know plenty of people work as many if not more, but it's been rough on me when I'm getting up at 3:45 to get to the gym and still trying to spend time with my hubby and baby girl (our wonderful doggie).  I have been questioning my ability to juggle this job with m training schedule but this week has been the worst....I actually told myself I wanted to quit. Because I have a great hubby, who wants me to succeed in achieving my goals he listened to me cry and vent, he has been listening to me for awhile and as usual he continues to motivate me and tell me that I can do this.

 I have isolated myself the past couple of weeks from my friends and family, just not wanting to talk to anyone, just not wanting to deal with life. I'm angry that my evenings and weekends get consumed with work and I'm angry that I'm struggling to balance it all.  In the past when I have had this situation I just quit and I always quit on myself, I have always sacrificed my desire to be successful at something just for me.  I've been doing the same the past few weeks and I need to get out of this funk!

 I want to be an IRONMAN, I want to finish an IRONMAN more than anything else right now.  I have no confidence in myself, I worry that I can't do this, I worry that I will fail.  But a good friend told me that if I don't try that is failure but if I try that is not failure.  I have been writing about this for weeks and I realize I'm just making excuses, I'm once again lacking confidence in myself.  Those that know me,that love me have the confidence for me right now and I need tor rely on that until I find that confidence in myself!

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