I'm Tri'ing

Today marks 1 month since I purposefully quit my job.  There is definitely more down time than what I would prefer however I'm enjoying: Plenty of time for working out Home cooked meals for the hubby most nights (leftovers on other nights) Sticking to my workout plan Sticking to healthy eating Keeping the house 'show" ready for that potential buyer, that I know is out there Reading a book that I've had for 2 years and only get to read when flying Spending extra time with our doggie daughter Spending extra time with my hubby Relaxing Mentally healing I'm still impatient so that is a work in progress.

Definition of progress is - forward or onward movement toward a destination.  Even though I had a good week (completed all scheduled workouts), I still feel frustrated.  I know I should not expect to be where I was when I was triathlon training or when I was 30+ lbs lighter, or could do more.......blah blah blah, right. One of my biggest challenges in life is being satisfied with myself, which is a work in progress.  I know I made great strides this week and I know that will become stronger.  I'm nervous about weigh in tomorrow, of course, but I feel pretty confident that I'm down. This week I biked faster than I did last week, ran faster and further than I did last week and completed 2 HITT sessions and 2 strength training sessions. The HITT sessions amaze me because they are short but tough and it's a serious challenge and the strength training in the beginning is about figuring out the correct starting weight without being so sore I can't move.  A...

But does anything ever start out and finish perfect? I caught the hubby's cold, thought I battled it well but I was wrong and it took me down on New Years day but that was a rest day so no worries. Got up Wednesday, ready to start my new workout routine....wrong, felt worse than day before, so off to Urgent Care, got some drugs and fighting this. Decided to move workouts back by a day and cancel Sunday as a day off, besides I took New Years day off, as planned. Had a good workout today, still sticking to my running, biking, HITT plan but added strength training in starting today.  My bike wasn't as long as I wanted it to be but doing something is what I take as a positive. I decided my goals/objectives for 2019 are simple: Live a healthier life! There is a lot of things behind that statement, I recently posted the below on FB and I want to ensure that every day, week, month and year I'm striving to improve my life - mentally, physical, relationships, etc. ...

Hard to believe 2019 is right around the corner. Hard to believe I have been unemployed for 5 business days (not counting holidays or weekends).  I wonder when I'll stop reaching for the 2nd phone or dreaming about P1/P2's? I am FREE and I'm excited and scared at the same time.  I worry about finances but the hubby says we are ok so I need to be confortable too.  My new job is to keep the house ready for sale, seems easy right, not!  My 2nd job is to fix myself - heal mentaly and become happy with myself again, I have let my job take that from me.....I started out controlling it but that did not last.  My 3rd job is to figure out what I want to do next for a real job, I know that I do not want to be in IT or be a manager and I would like to back into human services. I have started journaling again and started to be more consistent with my workouts.  Goal 1 is to lose weight.  Until we sell our house and move, I don't want to register for any ...

It's now been 6 weeks of steady exercise, including sticking to the routine while on travel to India.  My eating habits have wandered a bit but I know what I need to do. Recently I have decided that I'm going to live the life I want and not what everyone else wants.  All my life I have been ruled by someone else making decisions, telling me what to do or wanting to make the right decisions to please everyone else but not really doing what I want. I realized the 1st time I made a decision / choice for myself  was when I met my now husband and decided to marry him; 22 years later it still is the best decision I made.  He has always supported me; which is something that is unusual for me an it's taken me awhile to realize this.  I've always played life safe rather than risking and following my dreams/desires. Triathlon was my 2nd decision, by me and for me.  I have neglected those desires because of work pressures.  I realize that my current job wil...

The first time in a very long time I have stuck to an exercise and healthy eating regimen for 3 weeks and I'm super proud of myself.  I'm thick headed and it takes me a long time to remember what is important and I when I get off track I really get off track.  I have been letting work rule my life for a very long time.  Work stopped me from doing Ironman Texas 2018 earlier this year and it's been downhill since.  I contiue to struggle with that decision and I'm realizing how much it pisses me off that I let that take something away from me.  So the only way to get past this is to get back to putting myself first. Tomorrow I turn 48 and I know that I have wasted many of my years doing things I didn't want to do. I want to make that turn, and I want it to be a permanent turn.  I am my happiest when I focus on me, being healthy and enjoying life.  Work is work, it will never give me as much gratification as I get from taking care of myself, so here we...

For the past few years I have used triathlons as my way to "get healthy / get in shape and lose weight."  Then of course after a race, I break down, gain weight and lose my "healthy lifestyle".  I've decided in order to truly change, I can't use triathlon as the goal. So I'm changing my goal.  Funny thing is I have always said it's a lifestyle change, but I was never living that change.  Last week I got back to the gym - only twice for the week - but that is better than the week before and this week will be better than last.  I started receiving treatment last week for my plantar fasciitis and I'm going to talk to the Dr about my shoulders pain.  Until I figure out my shoulder issues, I'll stick to running, biking and doing lower body strength training.  I just hope it's nothing long term or something that requires more than PT/stretching. I also realize that much of my lack of a healthy lifestyle is very much work related.  I hav...

Since making the decsion not to do IMTX2018 I seem to be wasting time.  Work life has been crazy, my latest melt down was earlier this week and I don't think people get it.  I'm not cut out for this work, but everyone else thinks I'm doing a great job.  What the hell people.....I'm stinking up the place. I just have very different expectations of myself than others have of myself.  That is good and bad and often takes me into a hole that is very dark and difficult to get out of.  Basically I put everything into work - 9, 10, 11, 12 hour days, not working out, sneaking food so others don't see how much I'm really eating and definitely less than 4 hours of sleep a night.  This is the world I hate, this is the world I try to break free but just keep falling back into the drain. Taking another breathe - my battle runs from long, deep issues, the largest battle is realizatin that I'm sucking.  My saving grace is that I realize this so much fastter than ...

This past Tuesday I made the decision that I would not be participating in 2018 Ironman Texas and a couple of days later I'm still so very ok with that decision. From the day I signed up I was never 100% invested but knew that I would get in the groove, but I strugged and on Tuesday morning trying to get 2 hours in on the spin bike at the gym, I realized I was not happy.  The tears started to fall and I was not having fun....and the feeling that has been there for awhile became reality, I did not want to do this race.  I made the decision not to do the race - because my heart was not in it and I was forcing myself to train and try to get excited about the race.  I knew if I forced myself to do IMTX2018 I would end up hating triathlons and feared that I would never race again.  I LOVE trithlons and LOVE the bike, so when I find myself crying doing something I LOVE I knew I needed to stop. I have informed my close friends and some family.....I was worried I may dis...

Have to say when I looked at the countdown clock this morning, I thought ok 2 months, but when I looked at my training plan and realized 10 weeks?  Holy crap, that isn't long, almost in single digits.  Still have a long way to go but my focus gets better every day. Last week I got my bike saddle adjusted and life is MUCH better.  I was struggling with an hour ride so very thankful to the team at Britton Bikes getting me back on track. My shoulder pain comes and goes but is manageable at this point, otherwise at this point the body is holding up well.  I'm still frustrated with my weight loss, or lack of, just need to be further along than I am at this point.  I did finally get 1 strength training session in last week....hey I know that sucks but I haven't gotten any in so that is better. This week I go for 2, I know it will help me, just struggle with time but need to make it a priority at least twice a week. Remember: Keep work in it's place. You are...

Had a pretty good training week, we won't talk about the work week 😡 Today I dropped BB (black beauty) off at the bike shop to get a check-up, I'm going to pick her up on Thursday and try for another round of testing out saddles.  I have suffered 2 years with the current saddle and I just need to make some effort to try again.  I know I'm not going to be doing full distance racing after this year but I still want to get a saddle that is more comfortable than what I currently have.  After about 1.5 hours, I'm ready to be done so 6+ hours is difficult. Still moving along with my weight loss, but WAY off target of what I was hoping to be by this time.  I still have time but need to be on target with workouts and eating.  We typically do one splurge meal every week but we have changed it to every other week.  I know many would say if you need to lose the weight then you should remove the splurges all together well that just won't work for me.  If I do...

Can't believe IMTX2018 is less than 90 days.  Even though I have completed 2 IMs, you still feel like it's your first, which for me is good.  Never assume because you have done it once means you can do it again.  I always try to put my best effort into training, not always successful, but never dwell.  Just reflect and move on.  I have realized that more than ever I struggle to train on weekends.  My time with the hubby and our furry baby is so precious to me and scarce during the week that I want to spend as much time with them as possible on the weekends.  So I have decided to make some modifications to the schedule that will mostly allow me to limit weekend training to 1 day.  The sacrifice to accomplish this is getting up earlier during the weekend to extend my workouts.  Over the next 13 weeks, I will only have 3 weekends at 7 days s a week instead of 6. My new nutrition plan (focus on protein and lower carbs/sugar) is working well...

I was hoping to do a better job of posting updates on how training is going but since it's been 2 weeks since my last post, not sure I have done a very good job. In November I posted some focus points and for the past 2 months I'm doing well. Weightloss - I'm down 11 lbs since restarting my focus.  I'm working to balance protein, carbs and fat intake by eating whole foods and limiting the amount of processed food I eat.  Last week I did well but still room for improvement but nothing to beat myself up about as its always a learning experience. Focus - I know who I'm working and training for and that is the most important person in my life = ME. Commitment to overall goal - I realize as mentioned before that this will be my last full Ironman and I'm fine with that.  So far enjoying the training journey and treating it like the first time.   Work/life balance - this is always the biggest struggle for me and so far I would give myself a C +.  I ha...

IMTX 2018 training started 7 weeks ago and I have 17 weeks left and I'm ready to start moving in a new direction.  I've joined a group with the mantra - Year of No Nonsense.  I have realized I carry a lot of baggage that is just nonsense.  This is not a New Years resolution, this is me focusing on taking the next steps in getting my life on track.  I made a very important step in that direction 5 years ago and have taken baby steps over the past 5 years but I still carry a great deal of baggage that has been holding me back from taking complete control of my life.  I'm ready to take that final leap into truly focusing on myself. None of this past drama is being carried into the New Year.  I'm going to focus on what I want and looking towards the future with a positive attitude.  I have forgiven myself for the past and those that have hurt me.  That baggage is in the trash and I feel a lot lighter for getting rid of it. I've also realized t...

Tomorrow starts the 3rd go around for Ironman Texas training.  I wish I was going into training in a better situation than what I have put myself but there is no dwelling only moving forward.  I'm looking forward to the hubby returning from work travel so I can get back to the gym routine and especially my morning swims.  I have a lot to overcome over the next 24 weeks so my dedication level needs to be better than ever. I have been considering doing 2 long distance event this year but feedback from some friends indicates I should do the 2nd one 6-8 weeks from the 1st but that is very tough for me because of the time I would need to take off and there is nothing close so I would have to fly which would mean some extra time because I would have to ship my bike.  So I'm considering just doing some other races, as I had originally planned this year and didn't follow through with and then 2019 I would reconsider 2 long distance events.  Key focus points for me t...

I have officially wasted the past 27 weeks, since Ironman Texas.  Which is exactly what I said last year I would not let happen.  Well at this point all I can do is begin to move forward and get my shit back together.  So now I have 26 weeks till Ironman Texas 2018. The good or I guess bad, is I'm not the only one, there are lots of people that have the same history.  So what I can do: Admit that I fell off the wagon - I screwed up but I'm not a screw up.  Yep 27 weeks to realize that is a long time but it use to take years.  So what do I need to do, I need to get back on track, follow the plan, do the time. A made a promise to myself a long time ago that I was going to get healthy and take care of myself which is exactly what I need to do.  I forget, very often, everything I have accomplished and even more that I want to accomplish. Be the person you want to be!

   Happy Birthday to me ------ 47 years old young.  I realized yesterday that I may have lived 1/2 or more of my life and I realize that I still have so much to do.   I have always looked at what I need to fix about me and I realize that I can't look at myself as broken because I'm not broken, I'm just not perfect and starting over is just an opportunity to continually improving myself. I'm still wishy washy abouut doing TX IM 2018......I want to, but don't know but I can start moving in the right direction again.

No I still haven't made up my mind.  I'm back and forth but ultimately I'm probably going to sign up.  Should have done it weeks ago to get the better discount but I'm struggling with the training time and the cost of a hotel, which is $100/night more than last year! As the hubby regularly reminds me, some day your body won't let you do this anymore. I have scheduled to get my Ironman tattoo next weekend, super excited to get it.  A bit scary since it's been so many years since my last but I earned this and always said I wanted to get the tattoo to remind myself of what I accomplished.  It will forever mark accomplishing the #1 thing on my bucket list! I'll need to take a few weeks off from swimming until it heals up, which could be the toughest part since my morning swims help me start my day off right!

I'm  sure there are people out there, somewhere, that think they have the perfect life.  That everything is right in that world.  I would love to meet them as I think it would be a great conversation on how they got there and are staying there. Me?  Definitely don't have the perfect life but I believe it's always work in progress. I have a history of getting off track but I like to think that one of my biggest improvements is recognizing when I'm off balance and working to get pointed in the right direction. I've been definitely been off track, BUT I realize it and working on it. Vacation last week was the perfect time to get away from the craziness of work......I have been putting in some long hours and needed a vacation to remind me of my priorities - ME, hubby and our dog.  That doesn't mean I'm not dedicated to my job but it doesn't mean that putting in 60+ hrs a week is beneficial for my mental and physical health.  Tomorrow I plan to right th...